New Understanding

This past weekend was like a break in reality for me. Gentry came home and we ended up spending the weekend with his parents in Delta relaxing and playing with their new puppy. I think because the weekend was so nice it made it harder to say goodbye to Gentry again for another week. I was not ready to come back to reality, knowing I had tests, quizzes, other assignments and work waiting for me. Needless to say, it was a rough trip home, and I was a mess all Sunday night.
My poor husband is the best, he was so patient to listen to me cry hysterically over the phone and go on and on about how stressed and frustrated I was with everything. Trying to finish school, being away from him, finding a place to live next year when I move up north with him, etc. He lovingly reminded me that it will all work out, and told me it would all be okay. I was so ready to give up on Sunday, you wouldn't believe it. I was at the point that I didn't want to ask Heavenly Father for help or comfort, I just wanted to be depressed and unhappy.
One of the things that frustrated me most was that I was having a meltdown... again! I think I've clearly had enough meltdowns in the past 3 months that I should be able to work through things without crying myself to sleep. Well, after I got up Monday morning I came to the realization: hard days are going to come. It doesn't matter how many you've had before, or how much you think you may have worked through an issue, they will still come. All you can do is try and ride the waves, and ask the Lord to help you get through as best as you can.
It will never be easy to say goodbye to Gentry. Every Sunday night my heart breaks when I know I won't get to see his face until the next Friday. And this isn't a trial that will be solved right away, this will continue until May when I'm handed that red degree folder from SUU and say goodbye to Cedar City. But I do know that somehow, the Lord will help us through this, He understands what we're going through, and He has a very good reason for why things are the way they are. Do I know that reason yet? No. I know parts, but not the main reason why Gentry and I have to be apart. I don't think I'll fully know until after it's over. And so for now, I'll keep trusting in the Lord, and looking forward to my weekends when I get to enjoy every second with this incredible eternal companion of mine.